A Lack of Color
by friendsqueen216
Summary: Ryan Atwood, Seth Cohen, Marissa Cooper, Kevin Volchok, Summer Roberts, Luke Ward, and Taylor Townsend all have one thing in common: their trying to survive life working in the ER. AU RyanTaylor, SethSummer, Marissa?
1. Welcome to the ER Bitch

**AN**: Oh god, another story but I've become so addicted to ER and The OC lately that I needed to write this story. It's basically The OC characters placed in an Emergency Room working as doctors and nurses. Alright so the character's have basically their same personalities but they didn't all grow up in Orange County together, I'll clear up the character's histories eventually, but right now know that the only one who was in the OC while a teenager is Ryan.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own _The OC_

_A Lack of Color  
Chapter 1: Welcome to the ER Bitch. _

* * *

"Dr. Atwood?" A voice called. Ryan flopped over in the hospital bed he had claimed as his own for the time being. Being a resident in the ER was time consuming, but being the chief resident basically meant he slept when he was dead. That was okay with him though ever since he had gotten a second chance with the Cohen's he put all his effort into a successful career. Sandy had found Ryan in the streets struggling to survive upon their introduction, his mother was screwed up and his father was in jail. Sandy instantly took the young boy under his wing, after all their own son had moved to a boarding school since he was so sick of the area his parents forced him to live in. Kirsten and Sandy raised Ryan, and took care of their other son Seth from a far.

"Can it wait Taylor?" Ryan demanded sleepily, Taylor shook her head. Ryan groaned, "Then can't one of the interns take it?" When Ryan was an intern at Compton General he had done all the night work while the residents had slept. Now that he was a resident the interns seemed to get the easier jobs while he was stuck with all the work. The thing was that usually the work he was bribed out of bed to do was able to be easily done by an intern.

Taylor rolled her eyes, "No, it's Dr. Volchok. I mean I could give it to an intern, but you know that he only trusts you." Ryan sighed and nodded promising Taylor he'd be right there. Ever since Volchok had started his residency at Compton, he'd get drunk on his nights off. The hospital wasn't all to thrilled about that, but Ryan personally thought it was Volchok's business. If Kevin wanted to get drunk when he wasn't at work, who cared? Just as long as he wasn't doing anything to screw up his work medically. Although more times than not Ryan wondered how Volchok had even become a doctor. He came from a screwed up life with no money, but he somehow found a way to get by because he was standing in front of Ryan as clear as day.

When Volchok spotted Ryan, he called, "Hey man! Did I interrupt your sleep?"

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Not more than usual, Taylor bring Dr. Volchok here to exam room 3, and start an IV. I'll meet you there." The thin brunette nurse nodded, and escorted Volchok into the nearby exam room. Ryan groaned as he followed them, Taylor had already got the IV in there, and Volchok was ordering his medication. Taylor made a quick check with Ryan who simply shrugged and added, "Don't forget the aspirin."

"Good point." Volchok agreed as Taylor scurried out of the room to get the medications, "Hey do you know what time Marissa gets on at?"

Ryan shrugged, clearly tired, "Well I'd bet it's at seven since that's when all the other nurse's shifts end, why?"

"Just wanted to see who I was working with today." Volchok muttered lamely. Ryan rolled his eyes, for reasons he'd never understand Marissa had dated Volchok for a year. The two had been going pretty strong, and the nurses were muttering about when they'd get married. That had seemingly freaked out Volchok, and he'd slept with a paramedic in the on-call room, Marissa had walked in and that had been the end of that.

"Right," Ryan commented and then said, "I'm going back to sleep, but I'll be back to check your BAC at exactly seven, so try to sleep it off, and I'll clear you later." With that Ryan walked out of the exam room, and headed back to his own bed calling to Taylor, "Wake me up at 6:50!"

"Dr. Atwood!" Taylor yelled. Ryan shot straight up, and gave her a questioning glance, "It's 6:50!" Ryan groaned, and rolled out of the bed, and chased after her. When the brunette noticed him, she grinned, ""You get off at seven?"

"Yeah," Ryan nodded and then added, "Tomorrow."

Taylor wrinkled her nose in distaste, "Ugh can't wait for those nights. I hate my crazy hours as it is."

"Oh right," Ryan said, "You're going for your MD. What year are you?"

"Second," Taylor smiled pleased, "I'm actually going to be done nursing soon so I can make more time for my internships."

"How soon?" Ryan asked curiously.

"Tonight's my last shift." Taylor told him.

Ryan raised an eyebrow, "Leaving on such short notice?"

"I didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing." Taylor shrugged as she pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, "I just wanted you to know since you know we've been working here together since day 1."

"Right," Ryan muttered, "Look how about tonight we'll split a cheesecake my treat?"

Taylor smirked, "Well who am I to turn away a free cheesecake? Well I'm going to sleep before my biochemistry class, see you Ryan."

"Bye, Townsend." Ryan said as she put her chart down

* * *

Luke Ward was in an exceptionally good mood. He had gotten two days off from the hospital, and now that he was fully rested he was ready to kick some rare disorder's ass in the ER. He still didn't know how Ryan had been able to let him go for so long after all the ER was short on staff, really the only people working there were Ryan, Volchok, and himself. Not that he was surprised Compton was in a dumpy neighborhood, one that only the brave ventured into, but Luke wouldn't change his job for anything in the world.

As he walked into the ER, he smiled at Marissa Cooper, "Hey Marissa it looks like it's going to be a great day!"

"If you say so Luke." The Nurse Manager responded, flipping through charts making sure the night shift had filled them out accurately, "But how about you change into your scrubs, Mr. Sunshine?"

Luke chuckled, and agreed heading to the changing rooms. He quickly changed out of his suit, and into his scrubs, placing his white-jacket on it with Dr. Ward written across it. Sometimes he still found it hard to believe that he had paid attention long enough to earn his MD. He had never been the most focused individual, but he liked excitement, and medicine was definitely something that offered that thrill for him.

He came out and saw Ryan giving orders to Marissa, and Summer running by throwing a blue robe over her scrubs. Ryan looked at her, "Do you know what this is about?"

"Huge trauma. Hold up over by 6th street. Four people shot." Summer tells Ryan before pulling her hair up in a bun, "And all four of them are coming to Compton, who's on besides me and you?"

"Luke and Volchok technically but I haven't gotten his blood alcohol back so he can't work yet." Ryan concluded.

Marissa snorted, "He's been drinking again? What a big surprise!" Ryan stared at her, and she shrugged, "I'll make sure the rooms are ready, and I'll be ready to meet the first trauma. Oh and I might have been a BAC test on the front desk."

"I'll check it Ryan, and then meet one of the gunshot victims." Luke called out as he pulled his robe on over his scrubs. Without waiting for Ryan's response, Luke ran to the front desk, "I need Volchok's BAC, please." The clerk handed him the blood results. Luke quickly scanned them, and shouted, "He's fine. Get Volchok!"

Before Luke had time to think the paramedics ran into the ER, Luke quickly ran over followed by a two nurses, the paramedic ran with the gurney, and the man kept screaming, "Please, my sister!"

Luke was about to question him when the Paramedic filled him in, "Greg Korey, age 26, shot to the lower abdomen and knee. Good breath sounds, given the situation."

They found room in trauma two, and Luke instantly began working, "We're going to need an IV! I might need O-Neg, so make sure I get some." Luke examined the knee, and screamed, "I need x-ray STAT!" The nurses scurried off as Luke tried to control the bleeding, "Mr. Korey can you stop yelling?"

"Don't help me." The patient yelled. Luke had managed to stop the bleeding momentarily in the knee, and moved onto the abdomen, pressing a bit to find the location of the bullet. When he located the bullet, Luke groaned, the bullet hadn't really gone in all to deep, and it was preventing the bleeding of his abdomen, but the bullet was lodged so that if It was removed he would bleed out for sure.

"Call the OR." Luke ordered, "He's as stable as we're going to get him down here." As a nursing assistant called the OR, "Why don't you want us to help you Mr. Korey?"

"You need to help my sister!" Mr. Korey yelled.

Luke sighed, "There are some awesome doctors probably fixing her right up."

"No you don't understand this whole thing is my fault. I robbed the place because I knew my sister would give us the money, and then my buddy, he shot her in the stomach, and then in the head. Look I don't deserve your help, help her please." The patient pleaded.

Before Luke could say anything or make a swift exit to the next room, Ryan burst into the room, "Do you need any help in here?"

"Nah, he's stable." Luke replied, "Why aren't you with yours?"

"D.O.A." Ryan responded sadly, "Shot in the head did her in. Since you're patient's stable, go to either Volchok or Roberts trauma room, they're going to need all the help they can get." Luke nodded, and Ryan made a run to the next trauma room.

Mr. Korey let out a scream of anguish as he was rolled towards the OR, "She's dead! I wish I was dead!"

* * *

"I promise you Mr. Cox, I will save your arm." Summer told her patient. The man's arm had nearly been shot of by whatever bastard had wanted an easy way to make money.

Dr. Nichol walked into the trauma room, "What do we have Dr. Roberts?"

"Two gun shots to the top shoulder blade, arm hanging on by an inch." Summer explained to her boss, Mr. Cox flinched, "Please Mr. Cox, don't move. It will only help in the long run, I assure you!"

"We'll take it from here." Dr. Nichol said as his group of interns rolled Mr. Cox towards the surgical ward, "Anything else?"

"Well I was hoping I could scrub in." Summer stated confidently, "I think the patient would feel more comfortable if he knew that I wads by his side."

"Are you a psychologist or a surgeon, Dr. Roberts?" Nichol questioned.

Summer sighed, "A surgeon, but…"

"No buts, Roberts, you should be able to answer that question with no buts. You are a surgeon nothing else." Nichol sneered evilly and with that he was off to the operating room.

"Tough break Sum." Marissa smiled sympathetically at her friend, she had just gotten out of another trauma as well, and she was filling in the chart for the patient.

"Whatever, the new students come today so at least I'll have someone to torture. Did your patient live Coop?" Summer questioned.

Marissa shook her head, "No she lost her pulse pretty much once Volchok started, we tried everything, but she was down for forty five minutes, he had to call it." Marissa sighed, "She was only like five years old too."

Summer winced, she always hated cases like that, "I'm sorry Coop."

"Don't worry about me," Marissa told her, "That poor girl's parents are the one who you should be worried about."

Summer cringed, that was the worst part of their job, telling people that their loved one was dead, "Marissa can I ask you a question?"

She nodded, "Of course Sum."

"Are you okay to be working with Volchok?" Summer asked quietly, "I mean can you do your job and treat a patient with him without fighting."

"Of course I can, Sum." Marissa told her, "I'm a nurse and nothing gets in the way of that, not even Kevin Volchok."

"Okay, I'm just looking out for you." Summer told her best friend honestly, "I want to make sure you're okay."

"I know and I appreciate it, but you really don't have to worry about me." Marissa assured her.

"Alright, then." Summer said unconvinced.

* * *

Teresa Atwood was not pleased as she walked into the Emergency Room that her husband worked countless hours at. She was sick of his ridiculous hours, when she had married him she hadn't bargained for this. She really was like a widow; she had lost her husband to the ER. Marissa was the first one to see her, and she smiled, "Hey Teresa, can I page Ryan for you?"

"That'd be wonderful, thanks." Teresa muttered.

Marissa gave her a slight smile, and called for Ryan. She turned back to Teresa, "He'll be here in a minute or so."

Teresa nodded her head, and didn't really pay much attention to her surrounding. She hated the ER. There was something so eerie about the fact that thousands if not millions of people had died in the same exact place she was standing in. Suddenly a hand tapped her on the shoulder, Teresa turned around and faced her husband, "Who are you again?"

"Ha-ha very funny," Ryan commented with a smile, "What's up?"

"I have a charity gala tonight, and I'd like my husband to escort me." Teresa told him. As a lawyer specializing in celebrities, she often had a charity case to attend. She didn't remember the last time that Ryan had come with her to one of the events; he usually was forced to work. She added, "It's for a good cause, lupus research."

Ryan nodded with a frown, "Sounds great but I'm here till seven tomorrow. There's no way I'm going to be able to leave."

"Ryan," Teresa snapped, "I have put up with your career choices for as long as possible. It can't always be about you, sometimes it has to be about me. I'm not trying to sound like a selfish bitch, but sometimes Ryan, I just need my husband."

"Look Teresa, I don't want to work these hours either but its part of my schedule." Ryan muttered lamely, as multiple traumas piled in through the door, "Look I've got to get back, but we'll talk about this later?" He asked before planting a kiss on her cheek.

She moved her head away, "Whatever." She watched as Ryan ran to help a patient shortly after Marissa joined him, and she found herself alone in the middle of the ER. She groaned before heading out the door.

* * *

Seth Cohen couldn't believe that Kreuk had placed him at Compton. He had pleaded with the dean of medicine not to place him at that hospital, but apparently the dean found Seth Cohen's anguish to big an opportunity to pass up. And so here he was at Compton General Hospital. It wasn't so much the hospital that turned him off it was who worked their, namely one person. His parents 'replacement son' was apparently Chief Resident in the Compton ER, his mother had bragged about that the last time they'd spoken. It wasn't so much Seth didn't like the kid; he didn't know him, and honestly the world would keep turning if they didn't meet. So this was not the place he wanted to do his internship in emergency medicine, but here he was.

"Hey, kid." The clerk called him, "New Med Student?" The guy was kind of large, but he seemed friendly enough.

Seth nodded, as he twirled his pencil, "Doing an internship in ER surgery with Dr. Roberts." He twirled the pencil uncomfortably as the clerk promised he'd alert Dr. Roberts of his arrival, Seth smiled gratefully, so far everything was going smoothly. No sign of the infamous replacement brother, no one puking on his shoes, no dead guys.

Then he saw her, the woman of his dreams. She had long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and these stunning brown eyes that could pull him in like a hawk. She was thin and short, but had curves in all the right places. She was wearing a white lab coat, and Seth smiled to himself, maybe she was a fellow student, although he'd never seen her before. She was perfect, and she was walking straight towards him.

She examined him, and questioned, "Seth Cohen?" And she knew his name? Wow, Chrismukkah had come early. She looked at him expectantly, clearly awaiting his acknowledgement.

"Right….I'ma…Seth….Cohen…" Seth stuttered still gawking at her openly.

"I'm Dr. Roberts, third year Surgical Resident. And I am your boss until June. " She informed him with a knowing smirk. Crap, she was his boss. That meant he couldn't go out with her, not like she'd consider him anyway. But now that she was off limits, well that just made him want her more.

"Nice to uh…" Seth started.

Dr. Roberts looked at him, "So what's with your tailored white jacket? I take it you've never worked in the ER before."

"That'd be uh correct." Seth confirmed quietly.

"Well don't worry about it, I'll walk you right through it, and you'll be pro in no time." She smiled at him sweetly, and his heart sank, she started walking, and he followed, "Well this is the front desk this is where the patients have to check in, that's Nate, don't shake his hand he fears germs." He continued following her, "Right so this is where the traumas come in, whoever's here takes the trauma. Right so whatever patient i5t is we always start an IV right away. You know how to do that, right?"

"Um, actually no." Seth admitted. Summer raised an eyebrow, clearly she was not impressed.

"You're third year, right?" She questioned, and he nodded his head, "And you really don't know how to put an IV in?"

"Well to be fair, I did all my internships in psychiatry, dermatology, and oncology." Seth defended himself; he didn't want her to think he was a complete moron who had bullshitted his way through medical school.

"Oh I see the white jacket specialties." Summer responded sarcastically as her pager went off, she read it, "Look I've got to check on something in the OR, so make yourself useful and do some suturing or something." Seth nodded, and she headed off to the OR, as he stared after her.

"Hey new kid!" He heard someone yell, and he turned and saw a tall blond guy yelling to him, "You doing anything?"

Seth shook his head, "No."

"Okay cool can you assist me? I have an emergency labor!" The blond haired doctor called, Seth nodded his head, and followed the other doctor out into the ambulance bay. The other doctor got to the woman who was clearly in tons of pain, "Hello M'am my name is Dr. Ward, but feel free to call me Luke, I'm going to help you through this as well as…" Luke trailed off clearly hoping that Seth would fill in the blank.

"Seth." Seth told the woman and Luke.

Luke nodded, "Okay so we're going to help you through this, but you got to trust us, alright?" The woman nodded her head, as Luke and Seth pushed the gurney through the hallways, "Marissa, we need you! Seth hold the baby in!"

"What? How exactly?" Seth demanded chasing after Luke and the pregnant woman.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Place your hand on the head, and hold it still, but don't suffocate it, okay?" Seth nodded, and did as he was told, placing his hand on the top of the baby's head.

"Luke you need any help?" A new blond doctor asked, running after them.

Luke nodded, "Yeah that'd be great, let's make sure this baby's delivered right." The three men and the blond nurse headed into an exam room, "M'am this is Dr. Atwood, you can call him Ryan." Seth flinched apparently this was the 'replacement son'. He didn't care at the moment though he wanted to make sure he didn't screw up his first labor, "Seth, take your hand off the baby's head, we're trying to deliver it now."

"Right," Seth said and obliged removing his head from the baby's head.

"Alright, m'am you're going to push, when I say three, okay? One, two, three!" Ryan shouted, and the woman gave a push that caused her to scream out in agony, "That was great! I'm going to need one more push and then you'll have a new child, ready go push!" The woman pushed, and the baby began crying, Ryan scooped the baby up, and declared, "You have a beautiful baby boy. I'm going to take care of him, and Luke will fix you right up, alright?"

The woman nodded, and waved to her baby, as Luke began taking care of her, and Marissa and Ryan cleaned the baby off. Seth stared at the baby, he couldn't believe he'd just witnessed that, he couldn't believe he'd touched the head of that baby, moments before. He was however disturbed from his thoughts when Dr. Roberts called, "Cohen you're not hanging out with the vagina squad, go suture someone!"

Luke and Ryan laughed hysterically, as Seth looked to them for some kind of explanation, and Luke shrugged, "Welcome to the ER, bitch!"

* * *

"I'm off for the night!" Marissa Cooper yelled, "I'll see you guys!" Everyone nodded, not eve mumbling a word of goodbye. She sulked as she headed towards the supply closet, where she indubitably bumped into Kevin Volchok.

"Going home?" He asked with a smirk. As he reached in, and pulled out some saline for an IV. He weaved through the materials like an expert, and Marissa wondered how exactly he had figured out the workings of the supply closet when it was primarily the nurse's job.

"Yeah I'm heading to the old home front, another exciting evening with Julie Cooper." Marissa commented dully, "Why are you getting your own saline?"

"Because your nurses are so damn slow, seriously it's no wonder why people fight to have you in their trauma rooms. You're the only fast one." Volchok informed her as he allowed her to look into the cabinet, "What are you looking for?"

"Making sure all my supplies got where it needed to be, sometimes the clerks don't put them in the right places, and then the doctors working the night shift get pissed at me." Marissa shrugged.

He nodded his head, "So what's the verdict?"

"Thunderbird's a go." She smiled as she closed the cabinet. He nodded and the two of them headed back to the front desk.

"So tough day, huh?" Volchok questioned.

She shrugged, "Not more tough than the day before that, everyday in the ER's tough. It's part of the job. I've gotten used to it by now."

"Do you want to maybe get some drinks when I get off tomorrow night?" He inquired.

Marissa shook her head, "Sorry I can't."

"Why not?" He asked her seriously.

She glared at him, "You're kidding me right? You cheated on me! You slept with a paramedic, and you're wondering why I don't want to go to a bar and get drunk with you? Well Kevin, to put it nicely I'd have to be the biggest moron in the planet to put myself through another relationship with you."

He shrugged, "Well have a nice night, I'd love to stay and chat, but this guy needs his saline. You know we got to clean out that IV."

"Bye." She called and frowned, it was just like Volchok not to even think twice about her rejecting him. She began walking as fast as she could.

"Hey Coop!" She heard Summer yell.

Marissa turned around, "Yeah?"

"Do you want to go to the bar with Luke and Holly with me?" She questioned.

Marissa sighed, "I'd love to Sum, but my mom needs my help with something tonight. Rain check?"

"Yeah, of course." Summer replied without hesitation and headed towards the front desk to clock out and Marissa walked out the door, and took a taxi to her mother's house.

* * *

"I have the cheesecake." Ryan announced as he settled into the staff lounge, and looked at Taylor Townsend, "Do you have the forks ready?"

She nodded, "Please tell me you got it from Cheniros?" She said as she opened the box, and breathed in the sweet scent of the cheesecake.

Ryan laughed, "Clearly, if it's not Cheniros, it's just not worth it."

"Amen brother." Taylor said, as she dug into the cheesecake, "I never knew cheesecake was a Mexican art."

"I never knew where cheesecake was from anyway." Ryan commented, "Therefore for all I know the Mexicans created cheesecake."

"I think it's a Jewish recipe." Taylor notified him.

"You would know that." Ryan smiled.

Taylor just laughed, "Of course I would. I am the Cheesecake queen."

"As you alerted me about a million times." Ryan smirked.

Taylor smiled, "How's Teresa doing?"

"I don't know," Ryan admitted, "She's having some problems with my hours but as far as I know health wise, she's fine. How's Jack Hess?"

"He's okay, the kids are giving him a real problem." Taylor remarked, "They don't really listen to him much so he's forced to show them his aggressive side which I enjoy. But you know how kids are…"

Ryan cringed, "That is way too much information."

"Sorry, you know me awkward as anything with social stuff." Taylor apologized and then decided, "But he's okay, I haven't seen him a lot though. We're both so busy with work."

Ryan nodded, "Honestly I still think it's a little creepy that you're dating a former teacher of yours." It was kind of creepy. Ryan could never imagine falling for one of his former teachers from Harbor. Although to be fair they'd all thought he was a criminal, so they weren't that kind to him, but still.

"You're not alone with that thought, I assure you." Taylor smiled and dug her fork into the cheesecake, "I want to marry this cheesecake."

"Don't let Jack hear you say that." Ryan teased.

Taylor frowned as another night nurse Sara ran into the room and shouted, "Dr. Atwood we need you. Suicide attempt."

"Can you page Volchok? He's especially good with those cases." Ryan suggested.

Sara sighed before rubbing her hand through her hair, "It's Marissa Cooper."

Taylor nearly choked on her cheesecake and Ryan made his way towards the ER with Taylor following him close behind and she whispered with disbelief, "Our Marissa?"

Ryan was thinking the same thing, and nodded gravely. "Sara page Volchok, we're going to need his help!" Sara nodded and walked slowly towards the front desk, as everyone was watching on stupidly, "What are you doing? Get back to work, this is like every other patient we have. Cohen, we're going to need you to cover the other patients. Get the trauma room ready for her, okay?"

The nurses scurried off, as Ryan's eyes landed on Volchok jogging into the ER, clearly out of breath. Kevin looked up into Ryan's eyes, and asked for the confirmation that he didn't want, "Is it true?"

Ryan forced himself to hold eye contact as he nodded, "Yeah, its true." The ambulance bay opened to reveal paramedics pushing in the barely breathing Marissa Cooper. Ryan rushed to her side as the rest of the staff looked on, grabbing her chart and chasing after the gurney, Volchok and Taylor followed.

"Okay run a toxicity scan, and give me the pump we need to begin pumping her stomach." Taylor gave him the pump, as Volchok tubed her. Taylor pushed Marissa on to her left side with her head lowered. Ryan then set up the stomach tube, and eased it into the esophagus. Volchok quickly drew blood from her IV, and Taylor took the blood and rushed it to the lab. Ryan began pumping, and all the contents of her stomach slowly began pouring out of her.

"I've got the BAC, it's .09. The toxicity results are she has Ginkgo and clopidogrel in her system." Taylor reported, before taking more blood, "I'll run another test to see what levels we're working with." Ryan nodded, and Taylor left the room.

Ginkgo and clopidogrel in her body, at the same time would cause some type of interaction clearly, and the two medications were not exactly household things so she had chosen them for a reason, but what did they have to worry about, suddenly Volchok answered his unspoken question, "Shit she's going to stroke out if we don't fix this!"

Ryan nodded, and considered it, "Call dialysis down here now!" He continued pumping the stomach, "That will at least give us some more time." Volchok nodded as he began cleaning out the stomach by adding water to the pump.

Taylor ran back into the trauma room, "Stomach pump cleared most of ginkgo and some of clopidogrel."

Ryan sighed, "Okay, so now we don't have to worry about stroking out." Volchok let out a sigh or relief as Marissa was put on dialysis. Still, not everything was fixed. Marissa couldn't live on dialysis all her life and still having alcohol and clopidogrel in her system wasn't going to leave no damage. Ryan groaned, "Her heart's going to stop."

Volchok looked up at him challengingly, "What? Why?"

"Clopidogrel is a blood thinning medication. If she took multiple pills of that and has a high BAC level, the alcohol is going to travel faster through the veins, and the amount of alcohol reaching the heart at once will slow down the heart so much that it stops. I don't know what else we can do besides hope dialysis clears out the blood thinner and alcohol fast." Ryan sighed.

"Damn it Marissa." Volchok cussed, "We can shock the heart to get it to start beating and the liver will take care of the rest."

"Right, except this will kill the liver." Ryan pointed out, "She knew what she was doing Volchok, we can only hope."

"Are you giving up on her?" Volchok demanded fiercely, "That's why she did this damn thing, because everyone gave up on her. You know what? I'm not giving up on Marissa because she wouldn't give up on anyone else in this room. So keep working everyone."

Everyone in the room turned to Ryan, and he continued stomach pumping, "You heard Volchok, it's not over until her heart stops beating and technically even then it's not over until we resuscitate it a bunch of times."

All the nurses took their respective places, and continued helping Marissa fight to get her life back.

* * *

**AN**: So what do you think? Should Marissa live and is everyone okay for Marissa/Volchok vbecause if she lives I'll probably go in that direction. I know he killed her on the show, but it's an AUso let me know what you think. And what do you think about everything else? Reviews please.


	2. A Hard Day's Night

**AN**: This takes so long to update, haha. I got a bit distracted / But anyway I'm back up and running. So enjoy.  
**Disclaimer**: It's Josh Schwartz's.

_breathe-in3_- Thanks for your review. I tried to make Volchok a little more mature because of the age he was in this. I'm glad you noticed, and I'm glad you like the little moments Taylor/Ryan are sharing.  
_QuieraStrawberry9_- Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it. I tried to make it like the puilot of ER, because that's one of my favorite episodes. I thought it was amazing (:  
_Yarrie_- I'm glad you caught that Ryan was Dr. Greene/older Carter, where Seth was young Carter. I was trying to make Ryan be like Greene, but I noticed he's quite similar to the older version of Carter, oh well! Thanks for the review.  
_Taylorforever_- Thank you for the review! I'm glad you approve of using Volchok, most people can't see past the he killed Marissa thing. I think it's ridiculous, because they had such great chemistry on the show. I don't really like Marissa either, because of Mischa's acting, but her character has a lot of potential. OH, and Ryan and Taylor are meant to be. I love writing them (:  
_whitelilly0989_- I love ER too! Marissa does have the Hathaway vibe, right? That's what I was going for. Oh and yeah, Taylor is supposed to be Abby with a little more perkiness. And Ryan is kind of Greene/Carter. Oh, and I can tell you I have an interesting path set up for Ryan and Taylor. Thanks for the review.  
_Krisz-_ Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And yeah let me clear up Hess and Teresa. Teresa is kind of like Jen, Mark Greene's ex-wife and Hess is well that jerk Susan dated in season one. So I'm going with an Abby/Carter type of relationship, but starting it off differently.

**Without further Ado... **

_A Lack of Color  
Chapter 2: A Hard Day's Night_

* * *

They worked on her all night. The dialysis was slowly working, but making her reliant on it for kidney function was a bad idea. If the kidney relied on the dialysis for too long the body wouldn't be able to make Marissa's perfectly healthy kidney work for her anymore giving her even more health problems however his protests fell on death ears. Volchok insisted that the only thing that mattered was making sure all the toxins were out of her body while Ryan was concerned about long term issues, "Look if we screw up her kidneys, she's going to need transplant."

"Look Ryan, we're not thinking long-term our job is to solve the emergency and let the other doctors take care of long-term stuff. Okay, no matter what we do we can't make her any worse off then she currently is." Volchok argued.

Ryan groaned, "You're wrong. She's not in renal failure; we can't keep her on dialysis. If we do, we'll send her body into renal failure. And that makes her a little worse, doesn't it?"

"She'd be dead if we didn't remove the toxins." Volchok stated fiercely with a glare, and removed the stomach pump.

Ryan ignored him, he was the Chief Resident. He got to make the calls, "Taylor run another toxicity scan. Tell me the levels, and I'll decide if she gets taken off dialysis." Taylor nodded, drew some blood, and ran off to the lab, "Why'd you take the stomach pump out?"

Volchok shrugged, "Nothing's left in the stomach by now. If we didn't get it out from the stomach already then it's already headed toward the liver."

"Good call." Ryan agreed, and the two work in silence for awhile until Seth ran into the room. Ryan raised an eyebrow, "What's up Cohen?"

"Stabbing coming in and I need your help to stabilize it. I'm sorry really I am." Seth muttered, "I know that she's everyone's friend and you all want to save her, but…"

"It's fine Seth," Ryan assured him, "You did the right thing. Volchok, I'll be back soon?" The other doctor simply shrugged, and Ryan ran after Seth who met the stabbing victim at the ambulance bay, "What do we have?"

"Jonas Lewis, 35 years old. Stabbed in right tibia." The paramedic stated.

Ryan nodded as the nurses pulled the gurney into the nearest trauma room, "Right, Cohen what do we have to be worried about?"

"There's a huge artery there so if we can't control the bleeding he's a goner. So our first thing we focus on is controlling the bleeding." Seth answered confidently.

Ryan nodded, "Right. And since the man is already passed out, wed can conclude that we have little time to do it." Ryan listened to the man's heart, "He has strong heart rate and breath sounds are fairly good. What's your method of treatment, Cohen?"

"Use a tourniquet?" Seth asked. Ryan nodded, and Seth ran to grab one, he applied the tourniquet quickly and efficiently. When the pressure was on the wound, Seth wrote the time down on the man's chart, ands then looked at Ryan for more information.

Dr. Atwood shrugged, "What next?"

"Call the OR to explore the wound to check for damages, and control the bleeding." Seth suggested. Ryan gave him a nod, and Seth called the OR.

"What are they going to look for in the operating room?" Ryan asked him.

Seth considered it, "There are tons of nerve endings there. The knife might have hit one, and screwed up the guy's nerves which would mean he'd lose feeling below the knee along with other abilities."

"Right, and they want to make sure that they can minimize the damage that might be done, although there's very little you can do once nerves are damaged." Ryan explained, "I'm going to go back to Marissa's room. If you need me, please feel free to get me."

Seth nodded in agreement and Ryan moved over to the next trauma room, and his eyes fell on Taylor's, "What are the results?" She handed him the scan, and he read it over, "I'm taking her off dialysis. The toxins levels are as low as we're gonna get them without having the liver interfere." Before Volchok could reply, Ryan handed him the scan, and he groaned knowing Ryan was right, and began taking Marissa off the dialysis. As soon as the job is almost complete, Ryan said, "Her heart is going to stop."

"What the hell? Then why are we taking her off?" Volchok demanded angrily.

"What the hell is going on in here?" A new voice interrupted, and both Ryan and Volchok turned around and saw Luke looking from Marissa limp body to them. The three coworkers couldn't do anything but look at each other, until Ryan finally said, "Suicide attempt."

"Fuck." Luke said reading the chart, and noting all he developments. He had woken up this morning thinking all was good with the world, and gone to work like usual only to walk into his friend being treated for a sucicde attempt.

"So like I was saying why the hell are we taking her off dialysis if her hearts going to stop. It doesn't make any sense." Volchok snapped. This caught Luke's attention and he listened hard.

"The way I see it she stays on dialysis for another hour or so, and her heart stops, and we can't fix it because she's been so dependent for so long that she'll die right there, or we can take her off now and her heart will stop, but we'll have more ways to revive it." Ryan shouted, "So please take her off the damn dialysis."

Volchok shot a hopeful look towards Luke, but Luke groaned, "Ryan's right, you need to get her off dialysis. Ryan why don't you go home? Your shift's over. I'll finish up here, and make sure she gets off dialysis."

"No, thanks. I'd like to see her through." Ryan replied without hesitation, and Luke nodded and left the room. Ryan went over to the dialysis station, and looked at Volchok and Taylor, "We're going to need all the time we can get so Taylor be ready for compressions, and Volchok you're mouth-to mouth." With that Ryan took Marissa off dialysis. It wasn't even a minute before they lost a pulse, and then her heart stopped beating. Taylor started compressions, and Volchok did the mouth to mouth, as Ryan got the AED and shocked Marissa's heart, the heart started again and they all took a breath of relief.

"Taylor, new toxicity blood work." Ryan said quietly, "Any ideas if the toxicity doesn't come out clean?"

"Water IV?" Volchok suggested.

"We're already hydrating her like crazy. So any benefit we'd get from that is done." Ryan reminded him calmly.

Volchok glared, "Focus on the liver, help it break apart the pills. Make sure it does it's work right, kind of have a liver catalyst."

"Okay." Ryan stated, and looked over her chart as Taylor came back in the room and handed Volchok the results. Ryan looked at Volchok, and saw a small smile come over his face.

"She's all clear except a little bit of alcohol. We're taking out the intubation tube!" Volchok told them, "Before you say anything Atwood, I know she has a DNR."

Ryan just nodded as Volchok took out the tube, and then watched as Marissa Cooper took a breath on her own, he smiled to himself. They'd saved her.

"Alright call pysch and get her a bed up there." Ryan told Taylor with a smile, she reciprocated his action as she dialed up to pysch.

"They have one set up for her." Taylor told them, "They'll be here soon. And that's my exit cue, see you guys." Volchok nodded in her direction as he took a seat next to Marissa.

"I'm gonna head out too. My shift ended about two hours ago. Bye, Volchok." Ryan called and followed Taylor out of the room, "Hey Taylor, great work tonight."

She turned around, "You too. I think that might have been the hardest case of my entire career. God, I can't believe that even happened it just seemed out of my nightmares."

"Yeah it was definitely a tough night." Ryan concluded understandingly, "Do you maybe want to grab a coffee or something?"

"I'd love to, but I have a biochemistry class focusing on Medication and Drug Interactions." Taylor replied.

Ryan laughed, "The irony of that statement is unbelievable."

"I know right?" Taylor smiled, "It's so ironic that I'm having trouble grasping it. I'll see you Ryan. Get home to your wife."

Ryan nodded, "Good idea. Have fun at Med School." She laughed and walked away, and he watched her walk away. Then he headed to the locker room to change into his real people clothes, as he liked to call it. When he was changed, he walked out, but the clerk stopped him, "Ryan, how's Marissa?"

"She's gonna be alright." Ryan told them confidently, "I'll see you tomorrow." The clerk waved, and Ryan walked into the garage and pulled his car out, and headed toward the home he shared with Teresa.

* * *

Summer walked into the hospital with a broad smile on her face. She had been able to get eight hours of sleep which was more than she usually dreamed about. She was well rested and relaxed, she figured it had something to do with the two beers she'd drank last night while out with Luke and Holly. It was a rare occasion that she was able to have a night to hangout with her friends and just enjoy life. So when she clocked in her mood made her feel invincible and then she saw Cohen's charts on rounds or lack there of. Summer groaned, Nichol was going to kill her. Rounds were supposed to be done by seven and right now it was seven thirty. She sighed, and picked up the charts and ran off to begin her rounds.

"Good morning Mr. Cox." Summer said enthusiastically. She walked over to the man who she had stabilized in trauma the day before. However today a petite woman sat with him with a smile and put a finger to her lips signaling to Summer that her husband was still asleep. Summer nodded and frowned, "I'm going to have to wake him up unfortunately, but no worries he'll probably fall asleep right away."

The woman smiled at her, and flipped a strand of her brown hair out of her eyes, "Are you Dr. Roberts?" Summer nodded her head as she headed over to wake up Mr. Cox, lightly tapping the shoulder that wasn't operated on. The woman looked pleased by this, "He told me all about you, he said that you're the reason he has his arm. I'm Nancy, his wife."

Summer blushed as Mr. Cox stirred lightly, "It's nice to meet you Nancy, but I didn't save your husband's arm. A very gifted surgeon did." Mr. Cox was still waking, and Summer went over to his other side by the arm that Dr. Nichol had reattached. She examined the stitches; they were a little sloppy for her liking, she tried to make them as straight as possible to avoid less pain when the patient would have them removed. There were many other stitches so that the arm would manage to stay on, and Summer double checked to see that there were no signs of infections.

"Hey Doc Roberts." Mr. Cox said groggily. He tried to lift his head but his wife insisted that he just stay where he was.

Summer smiled at him warmly, "You're arm looks better than it did yesterday, Mr. Cox. Dr. Nichol did a fantastic job on the surgery. On a scale of 1-10, how much pain do you feel?"

"Eight," Mr. Cox answered quietly.

Summer nodded, "Sounds about right for the trauma you just endured. Tell me if you can feel when I touch your arm, alright?" Mr. Cox nodded, and Summer moved her hand on different parts of his arm, and each time she touch him, he did notice which was a good sign that he didn't have blood clots, "Okay, so everything looks great for right now, but we're going to have to be on the look out for infection and blood clots. Infection is just a thought due to the amount of stitches and blood clots are always a risk in reattachment surgery, so I'm going to order an ultrasound, okay?"

Mr. Cox and his wife nodded their heads, and Summer wrote down the order on the chart for the nurse to read, and said, "Well I'll see you later Mr. Cox."

She began exiting the room when she heard her patient call, "Dr. Roberts?" Summer turned around and raised her eyebrow in question, "You're an excellent doctor, don't let that asshole surgeon make you think you're not."

Summer's jaw dropped, and then her face became full of respect as she couldn't fight the grin coming to her face, "Thank you, Mr. Cox." She left the room, and had an extra bounce in her step as she made her way to finish rounds.

* * *

Luke groaned as his patient let out another scream. Pain like this was usually surgical, but Luke had other ideas. For one, the man's pain was not directly in one spot, but seemed to travel throughout the body. The man let out a yelp, and Luke sighed, "Okay, Mr.Stevens, I'm rather concerned about your headache, so I'm going to have Nurse Lopez here bring you over to radiology, and then we'll go from there, okay? He waited for the patient to nod before he left the room, and headed to the front desk, and rechecked the chart. He looked at the chart which was missing Marissa's name on it, and turned to Holly who was the clerk on call tonight with a frown on his face, "Where's Marissa Cooper?"

"They did all they could." Holly muttered in a bored voice, as she flipped through her latest issue of Cosmo, and chewed on her gum.

Luke's face curved into a bigger frown, "Shit, who called it?" He had thought that Marissa would pull through, but apparently they couldn't restart her heart after they'd taken her off dialysis.

"Volchok." Holly replied in a monotone voice still mindlessly flipping through her magazine, not bothering to look up at Luke's panicked face.

Luke groaned. Volchok would never have called it, he could never say that Marissa was dead. Ryan would have had to call it, but according to Holly, Volchok had pronounced his ex-girlfriend dead, "That must have been tough for him."

"Well you know no one likes these things." Holly replied dully as she flipped a piece of her bleached hair. She twirled it mindlessly around her finger, and kept her eyes on the magazine, Luke figured it was because she was to embarrassed of crying in front of him, but then again her voice wasn't shaky. How could Holly not care that Marissa Cooper was dead? She had been her friend too after all.

Luke nodded, his voice still shaking, "Do you know why?"

"Suicide." Holly responded.

Luke groaned agitatedly, "No I know that, but why did you know_ it_ happen?" There was no reason for her not to tell him. He was a doctor, he'd understood if he told her the reason why Marissa was no longer with them.

"That's what they're going to find out." Holly commented in a voice that seemed just as annoyed as his did, apparently the doctors had no idea why she had died and that would mean Holly had no idea so it would make sense that she would be getting annoyed with Luke's questions.

"They're doing an autopsy?" Luke asked calmly but still doubtfully. Usually the blood work showed what was being used to make the body fail and autopsies were not necessary.

This caught Holly's attention, "Wait, isn't an autopsy only for dead people?" Luke nodded, "Then why would Marissa get an autopsy? She's up in pysch!"

Luke was relieved, but only for a moment before he glared down Holly, "Why would you tell me she's dead if she's not?"

"I didn't tell you she died." Holly argued.

"You sure as hell made it seem like she was dead. I thought she was dead, and you never stopped me and told me she wasn't." Luke snapped angrily

Holly shrugged, "I was too busy reading to listen to you Luke."

Luke examined what she was reading, "You were too busy reading Cosmo?

"Hey if I were you, I wouldn't be complaining," Holly remarked, "I was reading 100 Sex Tips that'll drive your man crazy."

"That was a one time event." Luke muttered. He had slept with Holly the night before after going to a bar with her and Summer. He had drank quite a bit, but nothing that was too risky considering that he had to be a fully functioning doctor the next morning, but still he blamed the alcohol for his idiotic mistake.

Holly laughed, "Actually it was a four time event."

Luke was about to retort when Nurse Lara Lopez handed him the CT scan of Mr. Steven's brain. He saw it immediately it was impossible to miss by the pure size of it. It was located in the frontal lobe, and was the size of Luke's fist, easily, "Shit!"

"What Luke? Are you embarrassed? There's no reason to be embarrassed, everyone's doing it. It's kind of like drugs." Holly teased him with a smirk on her face.

Luke's vein in his forehead felt like it was about to explode out of the fury he felt in the moment, "No, actually Holly, I'm about to tell a man the same age as me that he has a brain tumor the size of my fist which is probably fatal. So trust me Holly, I'm not embarrassed by you at the moment."

Luke walked away from the desk, leaving the blond girl shaking her head, as she twirled her hair and reading her magazine, "Whatever. I'm just trying to be supportive in his crisis of manhood."

* * *

Seth stood outside the room, patiently waiting for Dr. Roberts to arrive so that she could see the patient. When she arrived, she seemed flustered. Her face looked worn, and she seemed slightly annoyed, but she still looked beautiful, he apparently let his eyes linger too long as she was glowering at him, "What do we have Cohen?"

He didn't think he could speak so he handed her the CT results, and watched as Summer gasped, "Crap. That thing is the size of a baseball. You want to brief me on the patient, Cohen?"

"Right," Seth replied, "Zach Stevens, age 26, comic book enthusiast. Came in after falling down and suffering intolerable headaches."

"I bet he was," Summer muttered, "Does he know?"

Seth nodded, "Luke let him know there was a mass in his brain. But he didn't really go into specifics, and just got him some consults."

"Right," Summer said and she headed into the room where the handsome comic book enthusiast sat, "Good morning Mr. Stevens, I'm Dr. Roberts."

The man looked up towards her and shrugged, "Oh is that what you call it?"

Summer sighed understandably, "I know things aren't going good for you this morning Mr. Stevens, but even though you're upset you really shouldn't be. I mean technically you should be upset because well it's an upsetting thing. I mean I really shouldn't be speaking because I've never experienced what you're going through, but if there's one thing I learn with my job it's that life's too short to hold onto emotions."

Zach Stevens turned to her, "Ironic how you can say that isn't it Dr. Roberts? Life's too short. It's an easy statement to make when you're not dying."

"We're all dying, Mr. Stevens from the moment we're born. Life is so fragile; it can be taken away at any moment. I could walk outside, and be hit by a car and die. Just because I don't know when my time is coming doesn't mean it can't come." Summer muttered quietly. Seth looked at her then, really looked at her. She wore her long brown hair down, and her eyes were as majestic as ever, except this time he saw something different in them. He could see how human she was in that moment. He could tell that despite working in a manipulative field, she hadn't lost her principles. She was human and he was pretty sure at that moment he had never seen someone so beautiful as her.

"You're beautiful doc." Seth heard someone say, did he seriously just say that out loud? He looked at the room and Zach was wearing a confident smile and Summer looked stunned by the abrupt subject change.

"Thank you Mr. Stevens." Summer responded with a smile.

Zach shrugged, "Are you married, Doctor Roberts?" Seth inwardly groaned, how come he didn't have the guts to just up and ask her a question like that. Technically he was allowed to ask her a few questions, but really what right did he have to ask her a few questions.

Summer chuckled more to herself, "No, I'm a doctor. No one wants to marry someone who won't be home to cook. Trust me there's tons of research about it."

Zach smiled, "Well would you maybe…"

"Before you finish that statement Mr. Stevens, I would like to remind you that you already fell on your head once today." Summer told him with a smile, "Shall we go over the medical information?" That's why, Seth decided, he'd never ask her out because he was sure to be rejected.

The other man nodded, "Right, well you can't blame a man for trying, right Dr. Cohen?"

Seth had forgotten that this wasn't some bizarre dream that he was having, but that he had the ability to speak, "Absolutely especially a beautiful girl with the potential for making tons of money."

Summer smirked at him, "What in a prostitution ring?"

"Uh, well I guess there but I uh was thinking more in the OR." Seth stuttered awkwardly. Zach laughed hysterically.

Summer fought off a grin as she rolled her eyes, "Cohen, I was kidding. Mr. Stevens you have a very large tumor in your frontal lobe, which would be the reason why your headache was so severe after falling today. There's only one way of treatment, really chemotherapy and surgery. As a surgeon, I think that the tumor is operable. However it is impossible to truly know until we open up your brain. Still there are no guarantees with a brain tumor this advanced."

Zach sighed and asked quietly, "So what if I choose not to get treatment? What happens then?"

Summer took a deep breath and then told him straight forward, "Then you'll pass away."

"How much time are we talking without treatment?" Zach questioned her forcing her to keep her eye contact.

Summer looked him straight in the eyes, "Two months, three months if you're lucky." She looked away from his eyes refusing to see the pain her words had caused him, that's what she hated about her job, "So Mr. Stevens, you have a decision to make."

"What would you do?" Zach asked her seriously.

Summer didn't stutter, "I wouldn't give up."

Zach nodded, and then he looked at Seth, "What would you do?" And Seth felt like this was him. It was actually his decision. Zach was a lot like him and him having to make the decision, made Seth struggle for his answer. If Zach hadn't been a comic book addict his age, he was pretty sure he'd have his answer easily, but now he was actually considering.

"I'd fight like hell." Seth told him securely.

Zach nodded, "Well I guess I'm going to be in for the fight of my life."

"Alright then, I'll admit you to the surgical ward Mr. Stevens." Summer grinned at him in a grin that was so infectious, that everyone in the room soon wore wide spread smiles on their faces. Seth followed Summer as she left the room, and as they walked she turned to him, "Thanks for the support Cohen, I appreciate it."

"No problem Dr. Roberts," Seth told hr and the quietly mumbled, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Cohen," Summer grinned, "This is a teaching hospital after all."

Seth began, "Well er my parents are coming up and they wanted to have lunch. And I was wondering if I could leave for two hours so that I could you know satisfy the parents wishes."

"So let me get this straight," Summer began, "You miss rounds and then you ask me if you can have a two hour break."

"Uh, yeah." Seth replied lamely.

"Hmm why did you miss rounds, too busy sleeping or something?" Summer demands feeling a rage blackout come over her.

"I was covering the ER." Seth responded quite clearly terrified of her.

Summer's fury was evident in her voice as she yelled, "Why would you cover the ER? You're only a med student."

"Because Dr. Atwood and Dr. Volchok were taking care of the nurse manager after she came in on a suicide attempt." Seth told her hesitantly.

Tears came to Summer's eyes, but she closed them to fight them back. People thought that because she was a girl, Summer was supposed to cry over everything, and in her field it was dangerous to make the stereotypes real, "Marissa Cooper?"

Seth nodded, "Yeah…they got her stable though, and sent her up to pysch."

"Oh." Summer whispered and she began walking towards the front desk, "Holly, I need Marissa Cooper's chart."

"So can I uh go?" Seth asked nervously.

"Sure Cohen," Summer murmured distractedly, as she flipped through a chart that Holly had just handed her.

"Or I can uh stay with you?" Seth suggested awkwardly.

"Why would you do that?" Summer questioned, not bothering to look up, "Just leave Cohen."

* * *

"Theresa! I'm home!" Ryan yelled as he entered the apartment he shared with his wife. He placed his car keys down on a table, and made his way into the kitchen where he knew his wife would be sitting reading the Times. When he walked into the kitchen, he placed a kiss on her forehead, "Hey."

"You're late." She whispered not looking up to meet his eyes, she continued reading the Times and drank her coffee, mindlessly stirring it, and diving into a stack of fluffy pancakes that she had made for her.

Ryan ignored her, "So how was the party last night?" He headed over toward the coffee pot, and poured himself a cup, "I'm thinking you had fun last night, but today's not going to be as fun."

"How'd you know?" Teresa raised an eyebrow, as she took another bite of her pancakes.

Ryan laughed, and took a seat across from her, "Well your hangover food is pancakes."

She shrugged, "Well you certainly know little details, but big ones such as time are lost on you, huh?"

"Can we just drop it?" Ryan asked beginning to get irritated.

"No, Ryan," Teresa argued, "I talk to you yesterday about how your hours are getting to be too much for me, and you go and work overtime?"

"I was saving Marissa Cooper's life after a suicide attempt!" Ryan shouted, "So don't you dare tell me I stayed after to spite you, because you know that's complete bullshit."

Theresa was quiet; stunned. Ryan hadn't meant to yell at her, but really what she was accusing of him was so far from the fact that he felt the need to defend himself. He looked at her, but didn't say anything, until she said, "Sandy and Kirsten called."

"Huh?" Ryan muttered while taking a sip of his coffee. He took the front page of the LA Times, and breezed through the headlines, nothing too exciting.

Teresa shrugged, "They're in LA for the day and they want to have lunch. I told them that you'd be there."

"Cool. Where and when?" Ryan asked.

"Eleven at the Ritz Carlton." Teresa replied fairly bored

"Well is Soph going to be there?" Ryan asked curiously as he finished off his cup of coffee. Sophie was the closest thing he had to a sister; she had been born at the end of his freshmen year of college. When Ryan was little he had taken care of his mom and brother, but now here he was 19 and he had no one to take care of anymore, and Sophie had come into his life, and she was so small and so cute. He felt like he couldn't love anything more in the world, and so far he'd been proven correct.

"How should I know, Ryan?" Teresa asked, "She's like twelve now, she might not go along with Sandy and Kristen everywhere."

Ryan shrugged. She had a good point. Who knew what preteen Sophie was like? "Look we should probably get going its ten thirty; we're just barely going to make it."

"I'm not going." Teresa told him quietly, "I'm too pissed at you and hung-over to go today. Maybe next time."

Ryan glared at her, "Whatever." He then left the kitchen, and headed to the Land Rover, and made a mad dash towards the Ritz, hoping he'd get there in time.

* * *

"Hey Seth!" His mother called out to him before ambushing him in a hug.

He laughed, as he gently kissed his mother's forehead, and escaped his mother's hug, "Well hello to you to mom, I suppose you missed me?" He shook his father's hand, and his parents laughed.

"Missed is a bit of an understatement. She's been driving Soph crazy with her stories about how you're working in an ER like Ryan, and how she hopes nothing happens to you like on TV. Actually Soph didn't come, because she was scared Kirsten would embarrass her in front of you." Sandy grinned.

Seth laughed, "That's impossible dad, we all know mom embarrasses all her kids at once, therefore Soph and I could rant about what an embarrassing mother we have without consequence." For that he earned a smack across his head from his mother.

"I'm not that embarrassing." Kirsten argued with a pout, "Seriously why are my kids so embarrassed of me?"

Seth was about to respond when he heard someone else say, "Because you can't cook." His eyes turned to face the new person who had entered the room. It was his boss; well not really, it was the replacement son and the Chief Resident at the Compton ER. Seth had been dreading working with him, but the past twenty four ours he had spent with him weren't all too bad.

"Ryan! It's been forever! How have you been?" Kirsten said as she gave Ryan a hug.

Ryan hugged her back, and kissed her on the cheek. He then headed over towards Sandy, and gave him a man hug, "Pretty good, and it hasn't been that long Kirsten, only like a month or so. Where's Soph?"

"She stayed at home, because she thought Kirsten would embarrass her." Sandy commented lightly.

Ryan grinned, "Ah so Sophie's one of those pre-teens that thinks she's a teenager. That should be fun to deal with."

"Oh it's a blast." Kirsten replied sardonically.

Ryan laughed, and Seth felt Ryan's eyes land on him. Seth quickly greeted him with a nod of his head, "Dr. Atwood."

Kirsten and Sandy began laughing hysterically at his words, and Seth glowered. Ryan smirked at him, "Seriously, man you can call me Ryan. Everyone does except Summer, I uh mean Dr. Roberts, but she doesn't call anyone by their first name not even her friends."

This was useful information, Seth concluded, and said, "Okay, Ryan."

"Dr. Atwood, does anyone call you that?" Sandy wondered out loud. It was weird to hear the kid he'd rescued from Chino be referred to as anything other than Ryan.

"Hardly anyone, it's even rare for my patients to call me that." Ryan responded with a shrug, "I like to keep things casual." When he saw Seth frown of embarrassment, he added, "Students usually do though until they feel comfortable."

Seth wrinkled his nose, "So I can call you Ryan in a trauma room?" The concept was new to him. He had been taught by his professors that it was rude to call a fellow doctor by their first name.

"Why not?" Ryan raised an eyebrow in confusion, "And while you're at it call Dr. Ward, Luke. He hates his last name, and even Summer doesn't bother using his last name, she thinks it sounds too much like wart."

Seth laughed, "It kind of does. So do I not call Dr. Volchok by his proper name either?"

"Oh you call Volchok, Volchok, unless you want to die." Ryan told him seriously, "The only one who can call him by his first name is Marissa."

"Why?" Seth wondered out loud.

"They used to go out," Kirsten told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Seth looked confused, and Ryan nodded, "Yeah they did, I'm surprised you didn't pick that up in the trauma room by how possessive Volchok was being. And the nurse gossip."

"Really, Seth," Sandy teased, "Get with the program."

* * *

"Dr. Volchok, we have a trauma coming in." Holly shouted as Volchok clocked out of his day from hell. He double checked the clock, 7:05. He was off five minutes ago and he didn't intend on doing anymore overtime, especially today.

He yelled back, "I'm off Holly! Get Luke to take it!" He signed off on one of his final charts of the day, some idiot bitching over falling down and getting a bruise, he wouldn't leave till Volchok prescribed him to pain meds, luckily Volchok was an expert in dealing with junkies, and gave him a prescription for Tylenol in a fancy word, and assured him it was part of the morphine family.

"You told me to get you if a gangster got himself shot, so you could take care of it." Holly reminded him in an arrogant tone. Volchok groaned, he had told her that. Today he had been taking the cases that no one wanted, pretty much. Dealing with junkies, bratty teens, annoying parents, killers, and thieves. But right now he just wanted to get out of the damn emergency room.

"Forget what I said Holly," Volchok mumbled, "Give the damn case to Luke." He headed towards the staff room, to take off his lab coat. He hated people most of this time; he had no idea why he'd chosen a profession that was so dependent on how he interacted with people. When he hung up his lab coat, he slammed his locker door shut, and headed towards the elevator and pressed the button to take him to the third floor. When he got out of the elevator, he walked towards room 212. When he reached the door his hands shook on the doorknob, he wasn't sure if this was really the right thing. Maybe this wasn't what she needed. He sighed, and after further debate pulled the door.

The first thing that he noticed when he walked in was the steady rising and falling of her chest, something that had been absent from her when he had last seen her. He had never really noticed how beautiful she was till this moment, as she watched her chest rise and fall. He realized that Marissa Cooper was beautiful when she breathed, something that he'd never have realized if she hadn't stopped breathing. She laid there so perfectly still, but not limp like she had been last night. He slipped into the empty seat next to her bed, and watched her sleep.

He realized it was pathetic to watch someone sleep. He also recognized that it was something one of the leading men in the movies would do as they stared after the girl that they had fallen in love with over night. Volchok was not the leading man. He was the asshole who broke the girl's heart. But at the moment Volchok didn't care about the role he was supposed to play, he just wanted to be with Marissa because her heart was still beating. That was really all that mattered.

"Dr. Volchok?" A voice said suddenly taking him away from the solitary moment he was sharing with Marissa.

He turned relentlessly towards the new voice, "Hmm?"

"Visiting hours are over. Usually we wouldn't ask someone like you to leave but well in the pysch ward we have to make sure everyone abides by the rules or else some people get paranoid…" The nurse told him.

"Right," Volchok replied distractedly, "Did she wake up today?"

The nurse shrugged, "Once or twice."

This perked Volchok's interest, "How'd she uh seem to you?"

"Tired," The nurse told him, "You know she's still recovering medically, the body just fought for its life, it's pretty tired."

Volchok overcame the urge to roll his eyes. He'd been there when the body was fighting for its life, he'd helped it along. He was the doctor, he knew the medical recovery period, instead of pointing this out to the nurse he said, "Right. Well I should get going."

The nurse nodded, "Dr. Volchok would you like us to tell her that you stopped by?"

He looked her over, and squeezed her hand gently. He held it a bit longer than he should have, but as he squeezed her hand, he knew what he had to do to make the recovery easier for Marissa "No, please don't tell her I was here."

* * *

**AN:** Okay so what do you think of that? I know it was kind of lacking in the Taylor/Ryan department, but it'll have some more in the next chapter, seriously. Otherwise what did you think of the other characters/relationships/Cohen+1. Oh and Zach is sticking around for awhile. Please review.


	3. Compton's Lonely Hearts Club

**AN**: Long time, no update. Reason? No time. I have a moment for all three couples in here though so that should help out some. And don't worry about Zach, guys, he's not causing any damage. Hope you enjoy, please review, thank you.

A Lack of Color  
Chapter 3: Compton's Lonely Heart Club

* * *

Marissa opened an eyelid, and could already see the distinct shape of another human being. If she couldn't see the vague image of their body, the sobbing would have alerted her that someone was in the room with her. Her head hurt, and she let out a groan, which immediately caught the other person's attention, and they turned around, "Coop!"

Marissa attempted to give her best friend a small smile, but it just couldn't come to her. She wasn't at the point that she could smile yet, three days after trying to kill yourself, you weren't all smiles. Marissa however pulled out the happiest voice, "Hey Sum."

Summer looked her over, and then made a grab for a tissue in her bag. She tried to wipe away any evidence of her having cried. Summer didn't like showing her feelings, because she was surrounded by doctors who looked down on her if she was too emotional. Surgeons couldn't have feelings that was the rules sometimes Marissa wondered why Volchok wasn't a surgeon. Marissa let Summer fix herself up and waited for Summer to continue the conversation, "I read your chart."

"Can I see it?" Marissa asked in curiosity. She felt like an outcast the past three days, she had no idea who had saved her. She had no idea how they'd done it, she'd designed it so that no one would be able to fix her.

Summer shook her head, "Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Marissa demanded.

"Because you can't be trusted with your life right now." Summer told her, "Right now, you're a woman who tried to kill herself; you can't see your chart because there's no way to tell if you'd use the information on how we saved you to just make your next attempt."

Marissa nodded, she knew it was standard procedure, "Can you at least tell me who I need to thank for saving my life?"

"Yeah, I can." Summer sighed, "Atwood, Townsend, and..."

"And…?" Marissa raised her eyebrow.

"Volchok." Summer told her hesitantly, "That was the main team."

"Oh." Marissa whispered, "I tried to do it on a night that the people closest to me weren't on."

"How kind of you," Summer snapped, "You know what Coop just because we weren't there watching it happen doesn't mean we wouldn't have still felt the blow."

"Sum," Marissa started.

"No, Marissa. You want to know how I found out about you? Cohen, my intern, told me that you'd tried to kill yourself, and he had to cover the ER. A Med Student had to cover the ER! And so you know what I think immediately? I think, well Cohen must be lying because when I asked you if you wanted to get a drink, you said rain check, and you would never make a promise that you couldn't keep. But then I get your chart, and find out its true." Summer yelled, "So, please don't try to justify what you did. I know that something must have caused you to snap, but please don't justify it because you can't."

Marissa was stunned, by her speech, "I'm sorry."

"You're a selfish bitch, you know that right?" Summer whispered as she climbed onto the bed next to Marissa and let out full out sobs.

"I know, Summer, I know." Marissa whispered.

* * *

Ryan walked into the ER with Seth that day. They'd spent a lot of time with each other since the lunch, basically because Kirsten and Sandy had not so subtly suggested that they get to know each other, and neither liked to disappoint their parents. Seth of course had basically nonstop been working in the hospital, and Ryan had enjoyed a pleasant or not so pleasant two days off with his wife. Teresa had been quite argumentative lately, and it was really bothering him. She knew that his job was important to him, and that he couldn't very well waste Sandy and Kirsten's money, yet she still made it out to seem like he worked to stay away from her.

He had introduced Seth to Teresa once, and it was like the old times. Teresa was the video game playing woman he'd fallen in love with, joking and cracking jokes, and being affectionate. They'd ordered pizza, and then watched Spiderman, and Teresa had told Seth that she had free passes for the next Spiderman movie's premiere, and that she could give them to him, and the girl of his choice. Seth had been so thrilled that Ryan was pretty sure he was in love with Teresa too now.

"Ryan, question about chemistry." He heard a female voice say, and he turned to see Taylor Townsend sitting in the main desk, all scrubbed up.

Seth raised an eyebrow at him and said, "I got to get to rounds, I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sure." Ryan shrugged and turned towards Taylor, "What are you doing here?"

"They needed a replacement nurse manager for the ER, until Marissa comes back, so they offered it to me, and I thought why not?" Taylor smiled, "So now I'm here doing my work and doing charts and stuff, it's actually pretty cool."

Ryan smiled, "I'm gonna change into my scrubs. Then I'll help you out with chem."

Taylor nodded her head, and picked up the phone, "Compton General ER…"

* * *

The surgeons were doing their rounds around the surgical ward, walking in a herd, the leader of the herd was Dr. Nichol, a man Seth had always been intimidated by, the other surgeons followed with their noses stuck up in the air. Seth had been told throughout medical school surgery was the snobby specialty. They thought they were better because they went inside the body, they made medicine seem like it was a giant competition, and Seth had always thought about it as a service, for the people.

Seth looked around for Dr. Roberts so that he could find his spot in the herd, however she was no where to be found. Dr. Nichol had noticed her absence too, but hadn't said anything. The herd of surgeons headed towards Zach Stevens room, a patient who reminded Seth a lot of himself. Zach was a nice guy, funny, into comic books, athletic, and apparently finishing off a Law degree at USC. Zach also had a very large tumor in his brain that they were attempting to shrink before surgery.

"Hey Seth," Zach greeted him with the classic smile on his face, "Thanks for the old Superman comics, it kept me entertained last night." Zach had noticed the herd of surgeons as well, and simply nodded in their direction.

"Hey, no problem dude." Seth shrugged, as Dr. Nichol turned his fierce glare on him, Seth felt him shrink a little bit, and said, "I mean Mr. Stevens."

Zach rolled his eyes, and then asked, "Where's Dr. Roberts?"

"A fine inquiry, Mr. Stevens," Dr. Nichol said, now it was time for Seth to roll his eyes, and then the door opened suddenly, revealing Summer. She was visibly shaken, her face was red, and her cheeks had the remainder of tears on them, "Where have been you Dr. Roberts, crying over the latest soap opera?"

"No, I was in psych, a patient crashed, and none of the doctors was there, so I helped out." Summer shrugged, "I'm sorry I was late."

"Are you a psychiatrist or a surgeon, Roberts?" Dr. Nichol demanded. Seth glared at him, clearly there was no need to torture her like this, she was visibly upset, he didn't have to make it worse.

"A Surgeon, Dr. Nichol." Summer responded confidently.

"Then stay out of psych," Dr. Nichol sneered evilly, "Oh, and don't cry Roberts, there's no crying in surgery."

Seth snorted at this, and suddenly every eye on the room had shifted from Summer to him. Dr. Nichol looked at him, "Something funny, Mr. Cohen?" His eyes dared Seth to respond.

"Yeah, your joke was pretty hysterical." Seth responded sarcastically.

"What joke would that be Cohen?" Dr. Nichol sneered, his voice continuously daring Seth to continue.

Seth knew he should back down, but right now he was too annoyed to back down, so he said, "You know how you said there's no crying in surgery? Well there's this line from a movie about baseball and girls and uh I don't remember what it's called, but…"

"_A League of Their Own_," Zach filled in.

Seth nodded, "Right, _A League of Their Own_, and Tom Hanks is playing the baseball coach, and he goes to one of the girls, there's no crying in baseball. And so I thought that you were referencing it, in like a pop culture trivia like challenge."

"Totally seemed like that to me too." Zach agreed.

Dr. Nichol ignored Zach, "It wasn't a joke, Cohen."

Seth knew that he should stop then, and apologize, but something was holding him back. So instead he continued, "Oh really because if it wasn't a joke, then I'd have to say you were harassing her. You were talking to Dr. Roberts like that because you don't think that as a woman she can handle being a surgeon, so you're trying to make her run scared from the department, but since she's not running, you're just being cruel. Is that what you're saying Dr. Nichol, because I know plenty of lawyers who would find your treatment of employees fascinating."

"Cohen, get out. Spend the day in the ER, where delinquent doctors belong, I'm sure Dr. Atwood and Dr. Volchok will welcome you with open arms." Dr. Nichol bit sarcastically, "Stay away from the surgical department all day today, if I see you we'll make it a week. Now get the hell out of my sight."

"Yes sir," Seth said, as he exited the room. He made one last look at Summer, who was speechless; he sighed, and exited the room.

* * *

Ryan came out in his scrubs, and threw his lab coat over them, and headed straight towards the front desk, "Okay what do you need help with Taylor?"

"Hess's Law," Taylor complained, "It just doesn't make sense like how do you do it, and how do you make it work? I really have never been good at physical chemistry, this is just torturous, why do we have to know it?"

"Because physical chemistry like energy and heat still makes a difference in organic chemistry. You need to understand all aspects of chemistry because the body is just one big chemical reaction, so you need to know about all kinds of chem., in order to get work done." Ryan told her.

"But Hess's Law makes no sense." She groaned, "I don't even understand what's going on."

"You're kidding right?" Ryan asked, "Everyone can do Hess's Law, it's a short cut and so much easier than doing the whole elaborate process. Even Volchok can do it."

"What can I do?" Volchok asked, and handed Taylor a chart for her to check.

"Hess's Law," Ryan told him.

Volchok rolled his eyes, "Obviously, that thing saved my physical chem. grade."

"I don't understand what's going on." Taylor told them, and signed Volchok's chart, "Kid in room 3 vomiting, seems like the perfect case for you Volchok."

Volchok rolled his eyes, and headed off to the exam room 3. Ryan took Taylor's book and looked at the problem, "Alright, so you want to find the heat evolved by this reaction, right? So look at the other three reactions that you have the evolved heat for, can you eliminate anything so that you get the reaction you're solving for."

"Yeah," Taylor said as she looked over the equations, "If you switch one of them."

"Uh huh, and if you switch them then you have to change the sign, right?" Ryan asked and Taylor nodded, "Now since these three reactions can be combined to create the reaction you're solving for you have to add all of their evolved heat up, and you'll get the evolved heat for your reaction."

"You're amazing! That actually makes sense! Wow, Ryan." Taylor sighed, "I've never gotten that before, but you're right that's so much easier."

Ryan laughed, "I was always good at physics and chemistry, it just all seemed logical to me, so I was pretty decent at it. Kinda sucks because when you're a doctor you really just need biochemistry."

"Please, Ryan you're the best doctor that's ever walked through this ER, Nichol even admits it. They all know that you should be at UCLA or USC, but instead you're here working in the projects, and it's the best thing that's happened to them in awhile, you know it Ryan." Taylor told him.

"There's no need to flatter me, Taylor. Everyone here has gifts that could be used just as well at big hospitals, but they choose to be here too. Luke is a brilliant diagnostician, he can come up with abstract solutions easily, and he can see symptoms for what they are. Volchok is terrific in trauma; he can work fast and efficiently in gunshot victims, stabbing victims, and suicides. Summer is brilliant, hardcore, yet compassionate, and she can do a chest tube like no one's business, and we all know that she'll be a phenomenal surgeon. And you, Taylor you have a photographic memory, and you have no idea how gifted of a doctor that will make you." He told her simply.

Taylor smiled, "Thank you Ryan that means a lot coming from a doctor like you. How's Teresa?"

Ryan shrugged, "She's fine. Jack?"

"He was gone when I got home after the Marissa incident, the next thing I know the police are there with a warrant for his arrest, apparently he had an affair with one of his students, and they had pressed charges, and he fled." Taylor mumbled in disgust.

"I told you he was creepy." Ryan told her and then shook his head, "So he raped a girl, and fled. You have a fantastic choice in men."

"He didn't technically rape the girl, it was consented." Taylor argued.

"How old was the girl?" Ryan questioned.

"Fifteen," Taylor admitted, "I'm not saying it's right and I still think it's disgusting, but if she gave consent, I hate to use the word rape."

"Taylor, its rape." Ryan told her softly, "I'm sorry, for what it's worth."

"Not your fault," She muttered, "Whatever it's better this way. I have more time to study for medical school, and get to be a real independent woman, date around a bit. Hangout at bars, it's more fun that way."

"I'm sure you have a lot of time to barhop," He teased her, "I mean Medical School and working as the nurse manager in the ER, I mean what do you do with all that free time."

"Twiddle my thumbs," She laughed.

He nodded, "That's what I thought."

"Ryan, do you ever regret marrying Teresa?" She asked him with interest.

He looked at her raising an eyebrow, "I don't know what you mean."

"Like if you hadn't married her right away, you would have gotten more time to go out and determine if she was the one for you. Do you ever regret not dating anyone else?" She asked.

"Honestly, I've been with Teresa my whole life, basically. I had a lot of time to get to know her, before I married her, and to really determine if he was the one. I knew everything about Teresa when I married her, and I knew she'd be a great companion for the rest of my life, I don't regret marrying Teresa at 21, at 21 Teresa and I had been together longer than most newly wed couples." Ryan answered.

"Does it ever get boring?" Taylor asked him softly.

Ryan considered that for awhile, before answering, "Everything gets boring."

Taylor was so close to him that he could hear her breathing, "Except for this."

"What?" He whispered, so confused they were so close that if she moved an inch closer they'd be touching.

"The ER never gets boring." She told him moving away to look over the board, "I'm gonna take care of exam room 5. See you later."

"See ya." Ryan muttered.

* * *

Luke had just finished up with an old lady, when he saw Volchok in the hallway. When Volchok saw him he said, "Hey just the guy I'm looking for. Baby vomiting blood in the exam room 3."

Luke took the case without arguing, Volchok was terrible with kids. And Luke didn't mind them as much; he headed into the exam room, and introduced himself, "Hello my name is Dr. Ward, you can call me Luke." He looked around the room; it was absolutely empty, except for a screaming baby in the corner on the exam room, Luke sighed, he knew what happened before he looked at the note next to the baby that said, _Sorry._

Luke picked up the screaming baby off the exam table, "Hey buddy, my name's Luke you're gonna be okay, I promise." The baby was still screaming, clearly whatever was wrong with the baby was very painful. He carried the baby out of the room, "Ryan, I need you."

Ryan came running into the room followed by Seth, "What's going on Luke?"

"Abandonment," Luke said, "Some assholes thought it was a good idea to abandon their sick baby in the hospital, I need help running an exam."

"Okay, Seth help Luke out." Ryan said, "I'll get social services and call the police."

"Alright, Seth I'm going to hold him, and you do the exam," Luke whispered so that he wouldn't disturb the baby more, "Okay, we're looking for internal injuries because there's blood in his vomit, so what are you gonna test first?"

"Stomach?" Seth asked, moving his hand to the infant's stomach, Luke nodded, "It feels hard."

Luke nodded, "Okay so what are possible causes?"

"Gastritis causes stomach pain and at severe stages can cause blood vomiting." Seth suggested.

Luke shook his head, "You have to have gastritis, unchecked for about two-three months for it to cause blood in the vomit. He's only a month old. Other ideas?"

"An ulcer in the stomach, but that's rare in infants this young." Seth said.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Cohen if you're gonna work in surgery or emergency medicine, you need to learn the one rule: expect the unexpected."

"You want me to test for an ulcer, that test is brutal on anyone let alone a one month year old." Seth pointed out.

"Cohen, run a blood test for H. pylori, if the test comes back positive, then we'll decide if an x-ray is necessary or if we're just going to do an endoscope. Just run the blood work." Luke told him, Seth nodded, and found a tourniquet so he could start an IV. The baby screeched as the needle went in, "I'm sorry," Luke whispered, "I'm so sorry."

* * *

Seth was headed toward the lab to put a stat order on the infant's blood work when he bumped into Summer, her chart scattered on the floor, and they both bent down to pick it, "Uh, sorry Dr. Roberts."

"Don't worry about it, Cohen." Summer said reclaiming her chart and brushing herself off, "I wanted to talk to you actually about what happened during rounds."

"Okay?" Seth said uncertainly.

"It took a lot of balls to do what you did today. And on one aspect that makes me see that you're going to be a good surgeon, because surgeons need to be ballsy. But you can't talk to the chief like that; it's just in bad taste. I appreciate you sticking up for me, but you ruining your career for something that's not going to change isn't worth it." Summer told him.

"I was just trying to help you out." Seth told her.

Summer sighed, "I know Cohen, and if this was a bar room brawl over whether I was a whore or not, and you defended my honor, well you'd probably end up in my bed, but this is work and at work you playing knight in shining armor to my damsel in distress is not a turn on, Cohen. Because these guys do think I'm a damsel and that I need someone to rescue me, but I'm not a damsel Cohen, I can take care of myself, and you trying to defend my honor is not helping me, okay? It's just proving them right, I'm not a weak damsel at work or anywhere for that matter, I can take care of myself or I wouldn't have gotten this far in my residency. So this didn't turn me on, if it was your goal."

"It wasn't my goal," Seth said, "I didn't like how he was talking to you, I have a great amount of respect for you, and I don't think he had any reason to talk to you like that. You work your ass off for your patients, and if you're running late it's because you're helping them out. He shouldn't be yelling at you for being a good doctor. How's Zach going?"

She smiled, "He's singing your praises Cohen. He said Nichol had it coming all along and that you were awesome there. He also wanted you to drop off some other comic books for him. Medically, he's pretty much the same; we haven't noticed much difference with chemo. He actually told me that I needed to talk to you."

"Wise man that Zach," Seth said softly, "Nice guy too."

Summer nodded, "Right? Who knew that not all lawyers were smucks?"

"I definitely did not," Seth admitted, "Although to be fair he's not a lawyer, yet."

"Cohen!" Summer laughed, and gave him a playful hit.

"Ouch! Who knew that surgeons could punch?" He wondered.

Summer smirked, "I definitely did."

Seth laughed, "One last question because I have to get this blood work there."

"Sure," Summer said softly, "This is a teaching hospital after all…"

"You were totally turned on by my knight in armor skills weren't you?" Seth inquired.

Summer shook her head with a smile, "Get your head out of the gutter, Cohen."

* * *

Volchok had just signed off on his last patient of the night, and headed to the locker room to get changed out of his scrubs, and into suitable clothes to hit the bar, and seduce some girls. Yeah, it sounded like an awesome plan for the evening. He entered the locker room, and his jaw dropped when he saw who was there waiting for him, "What are you doing here?"

"Psych discharged me." She told him softly, she could feel his eyes on her examining every part of her, and she didn't know what to make of it. She was pale, as anything but that could be expected after what she'd done.

"You did it three days ago and they discharged you!" Volchok yelled in frustration, "You should be up there for at least a week after trying to kill yourself, they're a bunch of idiots…"

"Do you want to know what happened to me today?" Marissa asked him. She pulled the hair out of her eyes, and didn't wait for him to reply, "Summer called me a selfish bitch."

"Oh, the drama." Volchok muttered sarcastically, "I'm sorry you're feuding with your friend, Marissa."

"The thing is we're not feuding, Kevin," She muttered, "That's what she told me when she saw me for the first time since you know, and I can't help but think she's right. What I did was incredibly selfish, I didn't think of anyone else. I just thought of me, I didn't even think of how it would feel if I'd been successful or how it would affect my friends. No, I just thought I can't deal with this anymore, so I need a way out. Do you wanna know why I did it?"

He didn't answer her. Clearly, he wanted to know what had caused her to want to kill herself, but on the other hand, he wasn't sure if he could take her reason if it had something to do with him, he wasn't sure he could stand it so he shrugged, "Whatever."

"I tried to kill myself because it felt like I was alone. I don't have a boyfriend; I lost him because he chose someone else. I didn't have anyone to talk to, because the only friends I have are doctors and we either work together or they work when I'm off. My mother treats me like dirt, and could care less about me. And then patients kept dying, my patients kept dying, and the interns teasing that I was the Angel of Death, and shit, got to me. I started planning it after the pregnant woman died. I felt like they were dying because I was there, and why wasn't I dying instead? I had nothing and no one, why couldn't it be me? I should have talked to someone, tried to make plans, but I don't even know how it happened, I was upset by our break up but it was nothing like this, it was like I only dealt with a little anguish and then suddenly it surrounded me, and I needed to break free of it." Marissa explained, "I never meant for you to be one of the ones who treated me, I tried to do it on a day that Ryan and Luke were on, and you were off."

"You're a terrific planner," Volchok muttered lamely, "I even told you that night that I was on, I remember I asked you to get drinks with me after got off the next night."

"I thought, I thought you meant like you wanted to make plans for the next day, it didn't register in my mind that you were working till then, I thought it was like you were making plans for the next day, I promise you I had no intentions of you being there to call it. I didn't do it to spite you." She whispered softly.

"I was getting saline from the drug cabinet when I was talking to you, you told me you were making sure everything was in order, and then the stuff you used to do it weren't household items, please tell me you didn't steal the medicine when I was there." He mumbled.

"I already had it for like a week." Marissa answered, "I know I'm the last one who should be asking you this, but I need a favor."

"What do you need?" He asked her.

"A ride," She told him softly, and continued to play with her hair in a distracting way and then added, "To a rehab for depression."

"You have a car," He pointed out.

"I came by ambulance," She countered and then added, "This morning made me realize what I'd done was wrong. Up until then I just thought crap they won't let me die, I was meant to deal with this pain, and I can't deal with this." She paused, "I realized that I was meant to live, but instead of being happy, I was angry by the fact that I was alive. And that's just disgusting, most people are happy that they get a second chance, but I'm miserable that I was getting a second chance! Then Summer came in, and I realized how painful it was to her that I'd done this, that's when it hit me, my depression wouldn't just go away because I was dead, it would just go towards the people I loved, and I couldn't hurt the people who I love. So I decided I needed to get rid of the thing that was destroying my life."

She looked up at him, and he was staring right at her, taking in everything she'd said, that's when she let it out. She started sobbing, hysterically, she found the bench in the locker room, and started crying hard she felt more weight go onto the bench, and she instinctually went towards the warmth of another human, and put her head on his chest, and continued to sob. She felt his arm go around her, in a shield-like manner.

"Kevin," She whimpered, "I can't live like this. I can't live this miserably, I really, I just can't. I don't want to feel this pain anymore; I don't want to cause this pain anymore. I want to be happy again, I don't even remember what it was like to be happy, I don't remember what happiness feels like. I want to remember, I want the misery to go away, I just want to be happy."

He sighed, and soothed her back, "I know, Marissa, I know."

* * *

AN: Review, please (:

* * *


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